| no one reads this so I should be okay.... I haven't used this in ages.. but ughhh
I'm so frustrated... why do people always "assume" things when it's not true... why do people like "starting" things... it sucks... I mean everyone has expectations thats life.. and is it bad that you want a nice anniversary or maybe you want a nice date ... or whatever it may be... why do people make you feel crappy for it... or sometimes people "expect" ppl to know certain things or what nots... life is full of expectations thats just how it is.. but there is a fine line between expecting and being unappreciative about something.. it drives me crazy... the crazy thing is when you haven't even thought about expectations and the person "assumes" or makes you feel crappy after knowing repeatedly already based on previous conversations what they mean... and the worst thing is that I didn't assume nor expect.. because the sad reality is I don't really expect much any more... all my "thoughts" about "idealism" and "putting effort" into things have died... because through time you feel forced to fit into this mold or you just end up losing that thought of wanting something yet appreciating whatever came ur way...
I don't know... as I think about things... I don't really want anything.. almost everything i've gotten has felt forced one way or another... and the sad thing is despite what I feel I have to suck it in because there are other things going on
gahh stressed out... |
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| Things are different now, my have they changed....
you're not who you used to be
you're not the same
Things are different now, my have they changed....
you feel like you belong now
you've found your place
Have you noticed?
Things are different now, my have they changed....
you can't be there anymore
nor can you stay
Things are different now, my have they changed....
although I've never full finished... I don't know quite what it is a poem per se or just a mere analogy for what was going in my life at the time |
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| people who are mean, who have temper, who raises their voices when there is no need, and who acts like a JERK ... sigh |
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| ...yup one of those days where your physically here, yet mentally somewhere else....realizing that 41/2 hours of sleep doesn't help your situation... waking up this morning... eyes felt puffy and retarded-looking...which always sucks... then thinking I closed the water bottle cap I placed the bottle sideways on my bed... only to realize it in a few minutes that I forgot to put the cap on and water is now all over my bed... trying to dry the bed.. I run and grab my hair blow-dryer... plug it in... not focusing I press the blow-dryer against my mattress... burned a slight hole ...only realizing it when the scent of burnt mattress was in the air... =\ Man I'm so sleepy - right now I'm dozing off!!.. I hope this day turns around! |
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| I was talking to Brian a week ago about relationships...and he wrote something that just stuck to me... "The amount of effort a person puts in is a big deal and its up to both people to make it work and put the time and energy into making it work. It’s a daily thing you know? every day you choose to be with that person and not anybody else, and they do the same back. And it ends when one day, one person doesn’t choose to have that other person be the only person in their lives." ... I'll update soon =) |
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